#yep i am writing fanfic of fanfic

[agentsquirrelsgotrobots]

The Hostage

A dp x DC + transformers Rescue Bots fanfic (hear me out, I have written this combo before)

Tw: abduction, mentioned sex work (Kade makes an assumption), discussion of pedophilia and rape revenge (Jason assumes the worst of Morocco)

Charlie felt helpless when he made the call on the burner phone.

Morocco was back, and this time, he had stolen Cody right out from under them in the middle of the night, not a single lead in sight except a bad feeling cultivated by decades as a police officer in Gotham.

This case could get cold fast, and using the bots would just make Morocco move Cody more.

There was a rumor going around, of a two man hitman team that specializes in cases involving children, and he had contacts to the Police Commissioner. After giving him a call, he gave Charlie a code and a website, telling him that these two were legitimate hitmen and to tell them about Cody first.

"Are you Jason?" Charlie asked.

"Maybe. Why and how did you get this number."

"Police Commissioner Gordon gave it to me. My son has been kidnapped. We know who took him but I can't go after him."

"Your name?"

"Charlie Burns." Charlie heard the clicking of a keyboard.

"You're a cop."

"One who wants Thaddeus Morocco dead." Charlie said. "This call is on a secure burner phone, and I have a burn box out back waiting for it. I know you have a five thousand dollar price tag, with multiple accepted ways of payment. I am taking the third option. Five thousand dollars in a secure money transfer, paid in full before my son turns eighteen. He is eleven now, and I can get that in a month's time."

"Fee's a deterrent for people not willing to commit. This case is personal. Meet me outside the Hall of Inspiration in two days. I have to drive up from Jersey." The line went dead, and Charlie reminded himself that this was for the greater good. Even Chase had agreed that this was a risk that they had to take.

Morocco had gone too far.

Charlie was surprised that they were so young. The attractive redhead climbed into Chase's backseat, and after the black haired, blue-eyed man put a duffel bag and suitcase into Chase's truck, he slid in the seat next to her and wrapped his arm around her waist.

They drove back to the firehouse in silence.

Once they got there, the woman patted Chase's side doors. "No need to hide from us. I can feel your core from a mile away. You aren't from around here, and neither are the rest of the vehicles in this room."

Chase popped up on the dashboard. "How? I didn't speak."

"My brother wasn't completely human either. I learned how to spot other worldly shit at a young age. Since I know your secret, here's ours. My name is Jazz, and my partner here is Jason."

"I am Chase. The fire truck is Heatwave, the helicopter is Blades, and the bulldozer is Boulder."

"You said the missing boy is eleven? Is there anything that we should know about his connection to Morocco?" Jason said, taking out the bags and setting the duffel on a folding table and handing the suitcase to Jazz.

Jazz set it on the red couch and opened it. It was filled with various knives, tasers, and an array of clothes, from skimpy dresses to a formal suit. "Hey, does anyone have a rough idea of what this guy's into? Women, men, both, neither?"

"I don't see how that is useful." Charlie said, picking up Cody's jacket and clutching it tightly.

"We don't have time to discuss this, I just need the answers if you have them. Every second that kid is in that bastard's hands, he could escalate to, well, joining a registry."

Charlie's eyes went wide. "You think he could be will to ... touch him?"

"I don't think so, but here's the policy we work from." Jazz looked up from the spread of dresses. "Hey Jason, what's the first assumption to make in this line of work?"

"Everyone's a pedophile!" Jason yelled from the other side of the room, laying out his weapons. He turned to Heatwave. "Makes things simpler for us. I would rather be pleasantly surprised than unprepared to face it."

"Makes sense. I imagine you do a lot of revenge killings. Technically, I shouldn't condone it, but where we come from, we don't let rapists walk."

"Well, that's something I agree on." Jason surveyed the rifle and various handguns he had brought with him.

"The rifle is too much. My usual load out, then." He strapped on his gun holsters, then inspected each gun. He set one aside. "We don't have time for me to fiddle with 'em. I don't trust this one. Charlie, bring your service weapon and taser. If neither have been serviced or used in more than a few weeks, just take one of mine. Jazz, you are gonna be down a gun. Are the knives enough?"

"Probably. He's a tech guy. No grunts, so EMPs and c4 are on the table."

"No c4. EMPs will have to work, and we aren't going to be bringing the tin cans with us."

"Why not?" Heatwave said.

"Cause this ain't the time for a smash n' grab. We are using stealth. The plan is whoever is closest gets the kid, and the other one puts Morocco down. We will take care of the body. You guys stick out like a sore thumb."

"That's it?" Blades said incredulously. "That's the plan?"

"Anything more complicated than that is doomed to fail. Jazz, have ya made your choice?"

"Don't think it's gonna work. He's the wrong kind of scumbag."

"So just kill him?"

"Yep. Jazz, get your stuff. Burns, I want none of you near that part of the island until we leave. We won't have to worry about police involvement, but people talk. Stay here, and work as if it was a regular night. Send some emails, post on social media, and don't be afraid to leave timestamps as you go. We will be back."

Jason was seething under the surface, but he had to pretend to be calm. He and Jazz climbed into their rental car, stashed at an abandoned house, and drove up to the lab.

Morocco wasn't even hard to get to.

The EMP wiped out all his defenses, and he didn't even have a gun on him. Jason spoke first. "Stage it like a suicide. Use the knives from the kitchen." Jazz nodded, and Jason left to find Cody.

Jason found him downstairs. He was obviously drugged, thrown in a little girl's bedroom, laying on the bed and staring at nothing. He was conscious, at least, and thankfully, appeared unharmed.

Jason called Charlie's burner phone. "Cody's alive, but the bastard drugged him. He's too docile, and the drugs seem to be working their way throughhis system without issue, but he might not remember much."

"Dani will airlift him once you get back to the firehouse."

Jason tossed Cody over his shoulder. "Jazz! Time to go!"

Jazz took off her gloves and stuffed them into a burlap sack that they were going to burn later.

As soon as they got back to the firehouse, Dani checked Cody over and then bundled him into Blades. She couldn't tell by his symptoms what he had been drugged with.

Jason and Jazz watched them leave, then collected their things and left without a word.

Charlie wasn't surprised when news of a burning car found in an abandoned parking lot was featured in the morning paper, along with Morocco's apparent suicide. Mayor Luskey found him that evening.

Deal

Based on a tumblr post!

Now with sequel! -> The After

NOW WITH ART! AMAZING SHORT COMIC BY PAPS

One day, a woman hires Jason to kill an unusual amount of people. The more he looks at the case, the more he is convinced he has to accept.

“I want them gone.” She had said with a straight face. “All of them have to die.”

—

notes:

This is set after the events of Lost Days and before he goes to Gotham to do Under the Red Hood stuff. I’m playing with timeline like a kid with building blocks. Any needed context is added in the story.

I know Dick killed the Joker because of Jason’s death. I KNOW. But Jason here doesn’t know. Don’t come at me in the replies.

There is no ship content per say, but is hinted in the future.

[Read on AO3] [Read on FF]

—

Jason looked up from the closed manila folder and glanced at the quiet figure of his new potential employer.

Caitlyn Williams.

It was a fake name, he suspected. If the black wig wasn’t enough of a clue about the fishiness of the situation, the way she omitted parts of her explanation, redirected his questions or provided just the basic information he would need for the hit was another big red flag.

Jason could work with this. It wasn’t as if he had the moral high ground here - he was living with a fake identity given that Jason Todd was dead and theoretically buried six feet under. Not even Bruce knew he was alive, but he had plans to remedy that.

In the meantime, he was trying to get some extra money since wouldn’t have Talia’s wealth forever and he had to eventually leave the nest, so to speak; and until he had a stable income he had to do small hit jobs like this one.

What this woman wanted wasn’t small, though.

“I want them gone.” She had said with a straight face. “All of them have to die.”

Keep reading

[pokimoko]

The One-Way Waltz of the Moth and the Wild Flame (and the Incident of the Authorial Intrusion) - A Good Omens Fic

Written by pokimoko

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: ~25K

Fandom: Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Muriel (Good Omens), Crowley & Nina (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens) & Original Character(s)

Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens), Muriel (Good Omens), Original Characters, (who is technically not an original character but I've got to keep some secrets ;) ), Nina (Good Omens), Background & Cameo Characters

Summary: A story in which Crowley does not prevent forest fires, a radio sends out thoughts and prayers, an angel misuses the emergency contact, the local duck population invents socialism, trees are threatened to varying degrees of success, a waltz is indeed played, and an author considers the nature of tragedies.

Tags: Ineffable Divorce | Aziraphale and Crowley Break Up (Good Omens), Post-Break Up, POV Crowley (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt, He/Him Pronouns For Crowley (Good Omens), They/Them Pronouns for Muriel (Good Omens), Crowley & Muriel Friendship (Good Omens), Angst and Humor, Crowley-centric (Good Omens), Canon Continuation, Post-Season/Series 02, Post-Episode: s02e06 Every Day (Good Omens), Pre-Season/Series 03, No Aziraphale Slander Here but it is also Crowley's POV so expect at least some Thoughts, Angry Crowley (Good Omens), Running Away, Both in the Emotional and Literal Sense, Because You Don't Have to Deal with Your Romantic and Personal Issues in Washington State. Obviously, (incorrect: you very much do), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), (even if he won't admit it), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), (another thing he won't admit), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), They're just being stupid, Not A Fix-It, References to God(s), Romantic Angst, America, United States, Fire Lookout, Remember Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires (Unless You Are Anthony J. Crowley), hey is it healthy to repeatedly relive a past trauma to deal with a breakup? asking for a friend, Scene: The Bookshop Fire (Good Omens), Fire, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Isolation, When You're Trying to Cope Badly in the American Wilderness but People Keep Talking to You, Radio, Inspired by Firewatch (Video Game), Character Study, Crowley and the Woes of Being In a Narrative That Won't Let You Go, (Fleabag voice) This is a Tragedy, But oh? What's this?, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ambiguous/Open Ending

[solar-nightengale]

PROTECTIVE PROMPTS HAND ON THE OTHER'S SHOULDER WITH THE BETROTHED FOOLS PLEASE AND THANK YOU 💖💖💖💖💖

DKJLHKPCTIXR HELLO!!! ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!! 🥰🥰💖💖💖 This ended up being a little snippet taking place in the past pre-Enchanté insanity so :) Have at that ehhehe Betrothed fools are still just the dating idiots here 😌 <3333

~ I GOT YOU ~ PROTECTIVE PROMPTS

4. putting a hand on the other's shoulder to show their support

Flick, flick, flick went the knife over the wood he was working into, chippings dropping onto the table around him. The sun had gone down hours ago, he knew that, but despite the headache starting to form behind his eyes, he refused to pull away from the head he was working on. The idea had struck him maybe hours ago and he had almost instantly gotten to work on it the second it did. It wasn’t a moment too soon either, the clocks above reminded him. Each passing tick was another passed second to reaching his deadline. And gods he had never wished more than right now to have the same speed and skill of his father. There was so little time left, what would he do to be able to build a puppet in as short a time frame as Geppetto once had to build an entire wardrobe?

He heard the door open, biting back a curse as he realised just how late it was if he was still up when Lampwick had come back home. His boyfriend had decided to stay the week, which came with its own set of rules. Those being Dies Solis night is the night he’d be playing cards with Eugene and Arlekin. And if he was back from that… then there’s no telling how late it truly was.

He heard a stumble before the door closed, the lock clicking soon after. “Still going at it, huh?” Lampwick’s words were spoken clearly, the steps he took unfaltering and stable. Pinocchio frowned.

For once he wasn’t drunk? That had to be a new record for him.

Pinocchio’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve almost-” the head slipped out of his grip, the woodcarver instinctively letting go of the knife in the process as both clattered to the floor. “Shit.” He dropped down and grabbed the knife, the puppet part rolling and getting stopped by Lampwick’s foot. The redhead huffed.

“Maybe now’s a good time to wrap up for the night.” Lampwick suggested as he picked the unfinished head up.

“I can’t,” Pinocchio sighed. He reached out to take the head back, only for his boyfriend to lift it high above his head. Pinocchio grunted as he jumped up, but Lampwick held it just out of his reach. “Lampwick!”

“Can’t what, baby? Reach that high?” the cheek teased as he dangled the carving, grinning widely as he straightened up even more out of reach of the woodcarver. “Use those tip-toes you love to bring out when trying to kiss me.”

“Lampwick I really don’t have time for this.” Pinocchio exclaimed as he grabbed for the older man’s sleeve and tried to pull it down.

“Why not?” Lampwick barely budged under the brunette’s relentless attempts to bring his arm down. “What? Can’t ya continue tomorrow?”

“No!” Pinocchio paused, “Maybe?” Another pause before he started up. “I have a- a council meeting tomorrow you know that! And I promised my patron that I’d have this done by Dies Mercurii and I’m not even close to being done. I’ve three days! Less than that even!”

The red-head blew a raspberry. “Well personally I think you’d get it done much better and faster if you got some sleep.”

“Now is not the time for that.”

“You’ve been working on it all day-”

“And I’ll work on it all night if I have to.”

“Pinocchio.” Gone was the teasing grin now replaced with a frown.

His arm growing lax was all the opening Pinocchio needed to finally pull the man’s arm down and snatch back the carving, turning back to the workbench and continue. He could feel his boyfriend’s breath on his shoulder, Pinocchio trying hard not to ignore Lampwick as he worked to concentrate on the chisel he was holding to the puppet’s head. “There’s more to it than that, isn’t there?” he heard him ask, Pinocchio’s eyes narrowing on the single spot he was trying to carve out. He noticed his hand shake as he pressed the knife a little more against the wood.“Spit it out, aye? What’s bugging ya?”

“Nothing,” was the swift answer Pinocchio gave.

“For someone that’s known for his lies you’re sure bad at them.” Pinocchio watched Lampwick grimace as he shot him a glare, hearing the quiet apology from him. “Who’s the patron?”

Pinocchio sighed, laying the objects onto the table. “The Princess. And her son.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘Oh’. She commissioned the puppet for entertainment on Henry’s fourth birthday. I said I’d get it done but ended up taking too long on simply thinking it up. And with the meeting tomorrow…” The woodcarver groaned as he dragged a hand down his face. He could feel his eyelids drooping, wanting nothing more than to close them right there and then and sleep. But he couldn’t. Not yet… “I know she’s going to ask about it and I don’t have a good answer to give.”

“Just’ tell her the truth.” Lampwick shrugged.

“Right! And disappoint the princess.”

Lampwick’s eyes narrowed. “So, what? You’re gonna lie? What’ll happen if you don’ got it done then?”

“That’s not going to happen. Because what I’m going to do, is get most of it done tonight, hopefully survive the meeting and then work until the sun rises in two days, praying that the gods are merciful and let me finish it by the time it’s due,” Pinocchio explained with a huff dripping of sarcasm, as he picked his tool up from the bench he was leaning against.

“That’s unreasonable.”

“Says you,” the woodcarver retorted.

“Pinocchio.” He heard a frustrated groan, pulling his hand back with a glare when Lampwick reached out for his hand. Lampwick’s hand wavered in mid-air before he opened his palm up, inviting the other to place the tool on it. The woodcarver gripped the knife tightly as he pouted up at him, seeing the gentle worry staring back. “You already looked like you haven’t slept properly in days, give yourself a break.” the red-head explained, Pinocchio’s stomach dropping at the concern.

He hated worrying him like this. Whether he knew it or not, Lampwick’s concern was one of the many things that hurt him beyond measure. It was a rarity to see, but a stab to the heart regardless. “I can’t.”

“You can. And you should. Doll, I don’t think you’re going to get a whole lot done like this. Even in the time frame you got.”

The mention of the time frame had Pinocchio’s shoulders sagging further. He had plenty of time to complete this really. In fact by now, if he had started when he should have, he’d be up and polishing the doll off, not just barely getting started on it.

“I shouldn’t have left it for so long.” He murmured, his chest suddenly aching. Gods he really fucked it up this time around. For once in his life Emma had requested something and he was about to let her down. The chances were, she’d never rely on his work ever again!

Well ‘never’ sounded unreasonable for the kind-hearted princess. But he was sure she wouldn’t have that much in him keeping up another urgent deadline like this.

“Well no use mourning tipped over cows.” he heard his partner state, the spiral in his mind grinding to a halt.

Pinocchio frowned, arching his brows up as he asked: “Do you mean crying over spilt milk?”

The red-head paused, before waving his hand dismissively.

“Irrelevant! And my point stands. Look, if it helps I can go in place of ya to that meeting. Give you more time to not only sleep but also work on this. I’ll jus’ tell the princess you couldn’t make it t’day and that’ll be that.”

“You hate going to those.” Pinocchio pointed out.

“I never said that.”

“Your words were, and I quote: ‘If you wake me up before the sun peaks I’ll have Iskra hide every saddle in the stable.’,” the woodcarver continued, Lampwick only shrugging in response.

“So be it! Just this once you can drag me out of bed and I won’t complain.” he explained with a confident smirk.

Pinocchio could only scoff in disbelief, turning back to the puppet he was working on. Right, and tomorrow morning he’d say something entirely different. And most likely go back on his word. If not sleep in entirely and then they were both in scalding hot water. It happened once before, and the look the queen had given them back then was one he’d remember for years to come.

They were younger back then but Pinocchio was no longer young nor as stupid to make such a mistake again.

…But then again Lampwick wasn’t as young like he was back then too. He had shown up at the last meeting, yet…

He felt a hand on his shoulder, looking up and seeing that strange gentleness on the man once more.

“Look, Emma’s not gonna fire you or burn your workshop down if the puppet is not on par with dwarven diamond quality. But if that’s what you wanna achieve, she won’ get mad about you missing one meeting given the reason for it. She’ll understand. An’ if-” he jumped in before the man could start talking again, “-An’ if someone has a problem wit’ it then that’s not your business either. She ain’t stepping through those doors if I’ve a say in the matter. Iskra’ll be right outside ready to make her fuck off if she tries.”

“You’re really going to have her attack the princess.” Pinocchio deadpanned, watching Lampwick’s grin widen.

“I’m not talking about the princess in this situation. B’sides, I’m sure the princess in particular be more concerned that you’re working yourself thin than anything else.” the red-head explained.

Pinocchio sighed, looking down at the still unfinished puppet and hung his head. “I don’t know…”

“It’ll be fine love.” Lampwick squeezed his shoulder. “I promise ya.”

It was tempting… he had to admit that despite the risks it was tempting. He cursed whichever god managed to make near every word the taller man say ten times more enticing than it should have been.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked, watching the man’s grin only widen.

“As sure as I am about the sun rising with me in the morning.” he promised, his hand moving from his shoulder to his lower back, Pinocchio simply letting him pull him away from the work bench. “Now come on, before you faint on me and force me to carry you around.”

“Oh, wouldn’t that be tragic for you do to for once.” the woodcarver joked, but still allowed the other to take the tools away, leading him away from the dread just for the night.

[elderyautjavegeta]

Writing my first RenTan fic and well...

Me: "Remember, it's just a drabble to test drive writing them, it doesn't need to be too deep" Also me: re-watching Mugen Train in both English and Japanese and taking notes on which versions of dialogue I like better for scenes I'm using as flashbacks Also also me: looking up what trees are native to Japan and what they smell like at different times of the year so I can pick the best one to use as a part of Kyojuro's scent palate for Tanjiro Also also ALSO me: currently at 3500 words when I meant for it to be 2k at most Me: ".... hmm."

[ninadove]

Feather! for the ask game :)

“So he sent you to do his dirty work,” she spat, straightening her posture as best as she could.

The crest on his chest - golden feathers sharpened into blades - was unmistakable. Unlike his face, carelessly exposed, so similar to the young prince’s.

Everyone knew the rumours surrounding the Graham de Vanily lineage. How the previous Duke had made a deal with the Devil, who had eventually come to collect his body and soul. How his devoted wife might have helped in the process, through relentless caregiving and a generous amount of almond-flavoured sweets. How their heir, who had never once been seen at court, was a changeling, betrayed by strange mannerisms and eyes that burnt like a bird of prey’s.

They were right on this last point, at least.

“You think you know who I am,” he grinned.

Sometimes It’s Worth It All To Risk The Fall (May 2023) 🦚🐉

[avionvadion]

I feel like I’m heading dangerously close into Vampire territory…

But, nah, it’s just Zora’s Domain.

[bubblegumflavor]

Me currently:

Writing: The Outsiders fic (unpublished)

Drawing: LawRusso as always <3 X3

Reading: Top Gun fic (thanks for the recommendation, it is exactly what I didn't know I was looking for! <3)

[xstarlightxstarbrightx]

UPDATE

HEYYYYYYY, I'M ALIVE LMAO

ik i disappeared a while ago (i have ADHD so sometimes i just,,, dont post b/c i forget???? dw abt it)

i will also say that something that CONTRIBUTED to said disappearance was Hurricane Helene (LOVE LIVING IN WNC BESTIES IT'S SO GREAT HAHAHAHAHA--)

i WILL be returning to posting abt the poly (which! i have a name for now! Caelestium my beloved, dont @ me) and also abt h/c's w/ the Archon Quests. i was kinda losing steam on those b/c i hate combing through old quests n shit and it's just annoying (plus i DESPERATELY wanna get past Sumeru to Fontaine, but i have to Finish Inazuma SOBBING)

HOWEVER, to try and curb my enthusiasm to help push me to FINISH the Inazuma Archon Quest + Sumeru Archon Quest, i have been writing on AO3 recently! (it was a coping mechanism for a hot minute so rip me LMAO) so far there isn't a lot there; i have a fic on the Kaelumi aftermath of Inazuma (with a Teppei mention, let's GO), and honestly i might just utilize fic writing as a way to express my personal ideas on how the Archon Quests went, w/ vague character h/c's on here? i'm still deciding tho b/c i really really wanna just yap abt these losers and going through the Quests is SUCH a drag. [link] other fics on my AO3 include: Zhongkae fic from after he joins the party/poly! (18+) [link] AND Neuvili fic from after Neuvi joins the party, and him and Zhongli figuring out their shit. (ALSO 18+ dw abt it please) That's actually going on RIGHT NOW, here's the [link], i will be updating every day until the 5.2 phase 2 banners drop!! (b/c i feel that it is VERY FUCKING APT--??? KAEYA IN SHOP AND THE DRAGONS ON THE SAME BANNER???)

i have more fics planned up; most of the larger ones are kinda sad / hurt/comfort (i love tormenting these sillies), but i'm also working on a MasFic of MiniFics where i write glimpses into the poly as they go through out their lives and deal w/ Teyvat's story. i'm still figuring out how to get all my thoughts down (i'm VERY scatterbrained, do forgive me lmfao) so i hope y'all don't mind! i will try and figure out a good way to rework a lot of this (maybe write mini fics of Key Moments to add to the "How I Think X Archon Quest Went" series? also maybe already re-do that series b/c i've decided i no longer like them >:/)

anyway! thanks for peeking at this, dw abt me if i disappear on here, i'm SURPRISINGLY consistent on AO3 at least rn who knows if that'll stay that way forever LMFAO also look i learned how to do the 'keep reading' thing, which means i can go back an edit my old posts so they're not text walls

[xrk-art]

Cat King siblings ? YEP TOTALLY ! Took 10h on this all day and i am so glad to be done now ! To be fair, it’s not for fanfic cause i’m not great at writing, it’s just a small family headcanon, i’ll be glad if anyone uses it 🫶

If you want any more of them, i’ll be glad to make comics/more art abt it if there’s any subjection too 🫶

[candycandy00]

Character:Hawks

AU setting:Gothic Mansion

Spice Level:NSFW

Mood:Light

Kinks:Breeding, Bondage, Choking

~🦄

The Chase - A Hawks x Reader Fanfic

Smut. 18+. AU. Hawks as a vampire. Fem Reader. Bondage. Choking. Creampie. Vampire-related blood/biting. 

My first time writing Hawks! I hope it turned out okay! Any feedback would be adored! Divider by @benkeibear.

When you first met Keigo at the cafe, the location you both agreed upon after talking on a dating app for almost a week, you were surprised. He certainly didn’t look 5’11. But height was never really important to you, so you didn’t mind. He was hotter than his pictures led you to believe, with a bright smile and an easy going attitude that appealed to you. 

When you asked him what he did for a living, he’d only said, “A little bit of everything over the years.”

He was only what, twenty-five? How many different jobs could he have had? But you dismissed it as a joke. You noticed he didn’t eat much, mostly just poking at his food or sliding it around on his plate. It almost felt like he was trying to make it look like he was eating. But his laugh was infectious, and he had plenty of funny stories to tell about traveling to different countries. You wondered how he found the time for all of that. 

At the end of the date, he took you home. You stood in front of your door, hoping he would kiss you, but he didn’t so much as pat you on the back. 

You went on a couple more dates after that, always at night. You joked that you were worried you’d never get to see him in daylight, and he’d laughed heartily. “What? You think I’m a vampire or something?”

“Maybe you are,” you said, giggling. 

He tilted his head, strands of dark blonde hair sliding over one eye as he said, “Maybe I am.”

There was a heat to his gaze as he said it, making goosebumps appear along your arms. And for the briefest of moments, you felt the most powerful urge to flee. You ignored such an irrational feeling. Keigo had been nothing but a gentleman, and in all honesty you were looking forward to him not being one anymore. 

On the fourth date, he asked if you’d like to come to his place for drinks. When you agreed, he said, “I’ll warn you, my house is pretty big. Been in my family for generations. Just don’t be freaked out.”

Now, as you sit in the passenger side of his cherry red convertible on your way to his place for the first time, you wonder how you could possibly be freaked out over a house. 

Until he pulls into the driveway. 

“Is that a fucking castle?!” you blurt out. 

The paved driveway, leading past an ornate, open gate, heads straight to a beautiful looming castle. It looks like something from a movie, probably about Dracula. The stone structure is huge, with literal towers! And though it looks like it was built in the Middle Ages, there are modern flourishes.

All the doors and windows appear to be new, and a lavish standalone garage sits nearby. The lighting is extraordinary, with beautiful colors being beamed at the castle from all directions. Without that, pulling up to this place at night would have been terrifying. 

Keigo laughs beside you. “Yep, it’s a castle.”

You turn to look at him. “Do you live here all by yourself?”

“I have a staff of people helping me run the place, but they all went home for the weekend.”

“Oh,” you say, realizing the two of you will be alone in this enormous building. A weird little thought crosses your mind, that you could get lost in this place, or that he could easily trap you here. You dismiss it, because so far Keigo has been really sweet. You don’t understand why you keep subconsciously thinking of him as a predator. 

And besides, you’re insanely attracted to him. You don’t think you’d mind him chasing you through this castle and fucking you against a wall. In fact you’re a little disappointed that he hasn’t made any moves on you. He hasn’t even touched you yet. 

“I didn’t realize you were rich,” you tell him as the two of you walk up to the door. He hasn’t even put his arm around you. Is he shy? Or just trying to be respectful? 

“I don’t like to advertise it on dating sites. I don’t need a bunch of young girls looking for a sugar daddy,” he replies, an easy smile on his face. 

That makes sense, though with his good looks, you doubt any women who approach him would be interested only in his money. 

Once inside, you find the interior is just as fancy as the exterior. It looks like the sort of house you would imagine royalty living in. High ceilings, plush carpets in some rooms with delicate tile work in others, rich furnishings in mahogany and gold, expensive paintings on the walls, a roaring fireplace big enough for at least three Santa’s to comfortably stand in. And again the mixture of antique and modern, ancient looking vases and art pieces beside a state of the art entertainment system. 

You look around in awe as he leads you down a hallway, through two different short corridors, and across a huge dining room to reach a kitchen. It’s the most modern room you’ve seen so far, brightly lit with beautiful marble countertops and all the best in appliances. 

The thought you had earlier returns to you as Keigo pops open a bottle of champagne - that you could get lost in this massive castle. You try to remember the exact turns the two of you took to reach this room, what the halls looked like as you walked through them. Could you quickly run back to the front entrance if you need to? 

Wait, why would you need to? Why do you keep imagining scenarios like that? 

Keigo is chatty and friendly as usual as he pours champagne into two crystal glasses and sits them both on the counter near you, subtly allowing you to choose the glass you want. He’s telling you about his great great great grandfather, also named Keigo, who lived here so long ago. 

“He was a weird old hermit, or so I’ve been told,” he says. “Spent years hiding out in this castle, letting the neighbors think whatever they wanted. It caused a lot of crazy rumors to spread about him.”

You sip your drink as you nod along. “What kind of rumors?” you ask. 

Keigo gives you that look again, the one that seems to be full of desire, and something else you can’t quite identify. The one that simultaneously makes you want to mount him and run away from him in terror. “That he was a vampire.”

You laugh. “People were so superstitious back then!” But in truth, you just felt an inexplicable chill run down your spine. 

Just then you notice that, while Keigo is holding the other glass in his hand, he’s never taken a sip. It’s a little suspicious, but maybe he’s just a light drinker, or he’s being careful since he has to drive you home later. Nothing to worry about, right? So why are alarm bells ringing in your mind?

And why does that excite you?

He sits the glass on the counter and steps a bit closer to you. There’s nothing explicitly threatening about the motion, but you find yourself drawing in a sharp breath. He stops when he’s close enough to touch you if he wants. Why won’t he touch you? His hands are so close. His body is so close! You imagine him bending you over his fancy countertops and fucking you right here in his pristine kitchen. 

“What about you?” he asks, snapping you back to reality. “Are you superstitious?”

You take another sip and try to project nonchalance. “Not at all. I don’t believe in monsters.”

He tilts his head again in that way that drives you mad. “You should. We’re definitely real.”

Huh? ‘We’? You laugh, almost touching his arm playfully but stopping yourself. “You’re really funny, Keigo.”

He smiles at you, that same easy going smile that charmed you from the beginning. “You’re funny too,” he says, “the way you keep pretending you don’t realize what I am.”

There they are again, the alarm bells, singing loudly in your brain, urging you to flee. The smile fades from your lips “What are you talking about?” 

“I don’t know what it is, some kind of gene or something, but some people just instinctively know,” he says, his tone casual. Friendly. “And usually, those same people send out their own signals, whether they know it or not. Just like you can sense that I’m a predator, I can sense that you’re wired to be the perfect prey.”

You back away a few inches, leaving your glass on the counter. Your heart is pounding wildly. “I don’t understand.”

He grins. “See? There it is again. You’re scared, naturally, but you’re excited too. You’re enjoying this. I can sense your pulse getting quicker, hear your heartbeat getting faster, and…” his eyes shift down your body, “can smell how wet you’re getting.”

You flush with embarrassment. He’s never said anything remotely sexual to you before, so it’s a bit of a shock to hear it now. But the worst part is that it’s true. 

“I knew it the moment I met you. It’s like you were designed to be my ideal prey,” he tells you. And suddenly you notice his warm golden eyes are glowing with a supernatural light, looking eerie even in this well lit room. He grins again, and you can see two prominent fangs, large and razor sharp, inside his mouth. 

You edge further away from him, still in disbelief. “W-what are you?” 

“Isn’t it obvious, sweetheart? Haven’t I been givin’ you hints this whole time? I’m a vampire.”

Your eyes sweep around the kitchen. There’s a knife block, but it’s closer to him than you. Is there anything else you could use?

You hear his laugh, still infectious even now. “Looking for a weapon? Not like you could kill me even if you had a gun. No, we’re gonna have a little chase. If you can make it back to the front door before I catch you, you can go home. Hell, I’ll even call you an Uber!”

You stare at him, trying to process what he’s saying through your shock. “What happens if you catch me?”

There’s that smoldering look again, and you reflexively squeeze your thighs together as he says, “I’ll fuck your pretty little brains out and drink your blood.” 

Your breath hitches, your chest is heaving as you breathe harder, preparing to run. He smiles and says, “I’ll give you a one minute head start. Now go!”

There’s no hesitation as you rush out of the kitchen, sprint through the dining room, and down a corridor. When you get to the end of the first corridor, however, you can’t remember which direction to go. You take a chance on running left when you hear the dining room door open. He’s already coming! 

You stop around a corner and pull off your high heeled shoes. They’re too hard to run in, and they make a lot of noise on the tile. You backtrack and leave the shoes at an intersection where two halls meet, leaving it unclear which direction you went, then take a right down a corridor that looks vaguely familiar. 

As you run toward what you hope is the exit, you can’t help asking yourself if you actually want to find it. You’ve been drawn to Keigo since you first met him, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want him to absolutely rail you. He even acknowledged that fact out loud. If that was all he wanted to do, you’d be running toward him. But drinking your blood? Would that kill you? Or would he just take a little? 

You hear footsteps, and panic makes you dart into a room along the hall. It looks like a bedroom, as lavishly decorated as the rest of the castle but with less modern touches. In fact it could be a king’s bedroom from some medieval drama. 

On one wall is a large portrait of a man you mistake to be Keigo at first. Then you notice his clothes are from a different era and his hair is styled differently. Maybe it’s the ancestor he was telling you about. Or wait… if he really is a vampire, he could be hundreds of years old! Maybe he actually was the ancestor all along. 

You feel a warm breeze and look over to find an open doorway leading to a balcony. Red curtains are swaying in the air, and as you watch, they occasionally part to reveal a lovely view of the city at night. 

Just then, the door to the room starts to open. How does he already know which room you’re in?! Maybe it’s his enhanced senses, but you have to hide. You head out to the balcony and wait, listening as he comes into the room. You’re running out of options! 

You back up until you hit the barrier of the balcony. You look down. This side of the castle overlooks a yard that seems way too far down. Jumping would be a big risk! But you don’t have any choice!

As Keigo appears between the curtains, stepping onto the balcony, you quickly climb over and let yourself drop. You hear his voice calling for you to wait, but then you’re falling through the summer night air. You squeeze your eyes shut and brace for the impact. You hear a strange sound, like wind whooshing over fabric, and suddenly your fall stops. 

You open your eyes, wondering why nothing hurts, only to find yourself in Keigo’s arms. Behind him, you can see two enormous red bat wings that have sprouted from his back. His golden eyes now glow red, and his sharp fangs are much bigger. Is this his true form?

“Gonna give me a fuckin’ heart attack!” he says as he flies back up to the balcony and lands, still holding you. 

You squirm in his arms. “Let go!”

“Hey, I already caught you! Game’s over!” 

You go still as you realize he’s touching you. Your body is curled against his surprisingly hard chest. His hands are warm on your shoulder and under your thighs, holding you up like a bride. You look up at his face, and he looks so gorgeous, all resistance melts away. 

Without a word, you lean up and kiss him. You didn’t plan it or even think about it. There’s a magnetism that draws you to him, and you can no longer fight it. 

He carries you back inside and sits you down on the bed, leaning over you and kissing your mouth as he unbuttons his shirt. He’s way more muscular than you expected, and your hands move to his chest, slipping beneath his open shirt. His own hands are working your dress up your thighs, to your waist, then up and over your head. 

His fingers deftly unhook your bra and pull it off you, and when you’re left in nothing but lace panties and thigh high stockings, he pushes you back onto the mattress. He lifts your legs and turns them until you’re lying perfectly straight in the middle of the bed. That’s when you notice the blood red silk scarves tied to each post of the headboard. 

Keigo takes each of your wrists in turn and kisses the inside, right where you feel your pulse most strongly, then ties a silk scarf around it, effectively tying your arms to the bed. You give an experimental tug, but the silk is strong. 

When finished, he looms over you, his shirt still on but open, his eyes glowing, his blonde hair being slightly tussled by the breeze, his crimson wings spread out behind him. You’ve never seen a more mesmerizing sight in your life. 

He grins. “Nothing hotter than captured prey.”

And as he begins kissing you again, first your mouth, then moving down your neck, you feel that familiar prey instinct of wanting to escape. You jerk at your bonds, even as you revel in the sensation of his lips on your skin, his tongue running over one hard nipple before taking it into his mouth. You feel a fang ghost over the tender flesh, and shiver. 

You feel instinctive fear, but you also feel an indescribable thrill ripple through your body. You’re trapped beneath a bloodthirsty vampire, but you’ve never been more aroused in your entire life. 

That’s why you don’t struggle or protest when he slides your panties down your hips and off your ankles, then spreads you open. You’ve been waiting for this, aching for this, since you first met him. You’ve been desperate for him to touch you, to feel his hands and mouth on your heated, quivering flesh. To have his cock inside you. 

“Do you know how hard it was to control myself?” he says, planting a few more quick kisses along your stomach as he moves down. “If I’d touched you on that first date, I would’ve ended up fucking you on a table at the cafe.”

You look down at him as he rubs your dripping slit with his thumb, and ask, “Why didn’t you?” 

He glances up, looking mildly surprised, then he grins as his fingers spread your folds and he gives the first lick, right up to your swollen clit. “I didn’t think that would make a good first impression,” he answers before drawing circles around your clit with his tongue, never quite touching it but teasing it mercilessly. 

You moan, arching your back, lifting your hips from the bed in an attempt to get his tongue in the right spot. “Ahh… please…!”

He pushes one finger inside you, curling it in a way that has you gasping. “Hmm? Please what? Is this little clit feeling neglected?” 

Again he licks a path around it but never on it, making you whine. Finally, he shows mercy and wraps his lips around the tiny nub, suckling it as his finger pumps in and out of you. Your hips buck at the sudden intense pleasure, feeling his tongue run over the tip of your clit, even feeling a hint of teeth grazing over it. 

You cum within seconds, moaning and shaking, your hands balled into fists. He draws back, slowly licking his lips as he unbuttons his pants. You watch with anticipation, eager to see the cock you’ve been hungry for all this time. 

It does not disappoint. 

It’s beautifully shaped, much bigger than you would have guessed considering his height, and glistening with tasty looking precum. He pushes your legs up, hooking them over his shoulders and folding you in half, then looks you in the eyes as he pushes himself in. 

It feels incredible, his cock filling you up perfectly, rubbing you in exactly the right spots. When he begins thrusting, impossibly deep and hard, you can only let out little whimpers and cries, your mind going blank to everything but the pleasure of feeling him inside you. 

He leans forward, kissing you again as one of his hands slips around your throat. God, he’s beautiful. His glowing eyes stare into yours as his hand tightens, constricting your airflow, making your pussy clench around him in response. As you struggle to gasp in air, he runs his tongue along your parted lips and fucks into you even deeper. 

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” he murmurs, his other hand maintaining a bruising grip on your waist for leverage. Just as you feel like you might black out, despite the hard fucking he’s giving you, his hand releases your throat. You take in gulps of air, the sudden rush of oxygen making you slightly lightheaded. 

And before you can fully catch your breath, his mouth opens wide, displaying the terrifyingly sharp fangs before biting down on your neck. 

You cry out in shock and pain, feeling his teeth tear into your skin as warm blood is sucked into his mouth. His tongue prods at the wound as his cock continues to ram into your drenched pussy. 

Well, there are certainly worse ways to go. 

As he repeatedly hits your most sensitive spots, a feeling of euphoria washes over you. The pain of his bite dulls, even as his teeth clamp down harder, and as he drinks your blood, you cum once again, trembling in his grasp. 

He pulls his face back, and his mouth is red all over, your life fluids dripping down his chin. His thrusts grow in intensity, an almost animalistic grunt escaping his bloody mouth as he fucks into you. A few seconds later, his mouth seals over the wound again, sucking out more blood as he shoves in even deeper, shooting his entire load into your womb. 

He finally pulls out of you, taking a moment to drink in the sight of your bound, bloody, fucked out form in his bed. Then he unties the silk scarves. 

“You okay?” he asks, his tone as casual and friendly as before. 

You wince as you sit up. You’re going to be sore for a few days, in a lot of places. Wait, is he not going to kill you? Drain you completely? Make sure you don’t tell his secret?

He seems to read your mind, because he laughs at your confused expression. “Don’t worry! I haven’t killed anyone since the 1500’s!”

You look at him incredulously. “Then what was the deal with that whole chase?!”

He tilts his head slightly. “It was fun, right? You really do have strong prey instincts. I don’t see that very often in the modern age. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Especially when I saw how excited you were getting.”

You blush at that remark. “So what now?” you ask, sliding out of bed and looking for your underwear. 

“Hmm? I guess we plan our next date?” he says, his eyes returning to their normal golden color while his wings seem to retract into his back. He hands you your bra with a smile. “Unless you wanna dump me after this.”

“No, I definitely don’t want that,” you say, putting the bra on. You lightly touch your neck, feeling the sticky blood and torn skin, then hiss at the throb of pain. “But could you go a little easier with the bites?”

An apologetic look flashes over his face. “Sorry, it’s hard to control myself sometimes. I hadn’t fed in a long time, and arousal makes the bloodlust stronger. It should heal up really fast though. Something in vampire saliva makes their bites heal quickly.”

“Good to know,” you say, pulling on your dress. 

He’s smiling at you in that easy going way you find so charming. “Start coming over more often. If you get used to this place, our chases might last longer.”

You stop and stare at him. “Wait, you’re gonna keep chasing me?!”

He grins. “Only if you keep running, sweetheart.”

[edwardallenpoe]

another bagginshield story idea because the writers block is still kicking my ass but I need to write it down.

What if Bilbo lies about his and Thorin's relationship and tells whoever asks that they're partners. HERE ME OUT! I know this sounds shitty BUT

What if he does it so that people can leave him alone. Or to get discounts/tax benefits (however taxes work in Middle Earth/The Shire). What if he uses his Scary Boyfriend Privileges. What if people already assumed they were together and he was too exchausted with Everything to correct anybody and at some point after wearing the mithril armor everyday and having braids Thorin put in and doing traditionay hobbity and Dwarvish courting customs he's says "fuck it we practically are at this point" lmao. Like they share food and spar together and both of them have continually refused marriage proposals and Bilbo's like "well if he doesn't know we're married then sucks to be him" about Thorin.

WAIT BETTER IDEA HIT WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS

BOTH of these cringefail losers lie. :00 Imagine: after months of living in Erebor and doing traditionally Dwarvish courting customs and Bilbo keeps being badgered about it he lies and tells people he's courting Thorin. And also uses this as a way to keep potential suitors from marrying Thorin. He's intercepting letters from suitors and being like "oh whoops sorry news must travel slow to Ered Luin but Thorin is already engaged:(( yep I know. Welp. Good day."

Then. For some reason both he and Thorin travel back to The Shire right. They're staying there for a month or two. rumors obviously start about why and where Bilbo had left. And while they're there they do traditionally hobbity courting customs and so nosy cousin's and neighbirs start badgering Thorin about their relationship and their adventure and Thorin's just like "yeah we got married back in Erebor. Yep right after he slayed a dragon. Yeah he was too cool to not marry. Yep."

And so someone like random like Drogo Gamgee or smt mentions what Thorin's been talking about to Bilbo and a dwarf from Ered Luin sends Thorin a raven and they both find out what the other was saying behind each other's backs and make out so hard Mordor explodes. Or something.

Idk it is like. 5:30 am rn. I had maybe an hour of sleep before I woke up in a cold sweat to write this down and read @/conkers-thecosy fanfics. You're welcome.

Edit: chapter one of Dragonfly is now here :>

[exhelluvafan]

Well it’s official helluva boss has finally lost the plot

I’m am surprised… no of course the episode Viv is proud of writing turns out to be some shitty fanfic the fat jokes are disgusting striker is now a dickrider for the rich

and DONT get me started on the weak ass ending like stolas is now powerless oh boo fucking WHO I DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR THIS ASSHOLE also Vivzepop you are one of the worst writers I ever laid my eyes on you are 31 and you still write like a 12 year old who discovered yaoi porn for the first time your characters designs are shit you can’t even write your characters to act like adults for fuck sake you are wasting talented people on your softcore porn I’m so done with this show I hope season three never sees the light of day

Yep, it's official, Helluva lost the plot and turns out that the leaks about Octavia turned out to be true in the end, evidenced by the hair stripe that Stolas ended up getting in the end of Mastermind.

And her being usually mean-spirited and fatphobic? Ain't surprising in the slightest, to think that the sin of Gluttony would be disgusted instead of being delighted, because, y'know... indulging is part of her sin???

Also, agreed about the design bit, though I'll steal Striker and Chaz for redesign or canon divergence material, but outside of that... while Satan is hot, this literally proves my point that this whole show became only a show made to make Viv and her porn addicted fans get off to softcore porn that she could've easily satiated if she went to the funny green page or the orange YouTube, but no, Viv had to force it onto her shows because she's that self-absorbed, and the character designs are conveniently attractive for NSFW artists to sexualize them to no end, which isn't an issue on itself, but c'mon, guys, we cannot deny that Vortex, Asmodeus, or Satan are cheap furry gay bait.

And yes, Stolas' punishment wasn't enough, and even then, he hasn't apologized to Blitz about sexually abusing, belittling and downright gaslighting him, and we're still supposed to ROOT for these two to be together? (Also, fuck you, Viv, Blitz WOULDN'T kiss Stolas in the cheek, Stolas didn't deserve it, if anything, Blitz would've ended Stolas misery with a gunshot on his ugly mug.)

So yeah, boo fucking hoo, Stolas, cry me a fucking ocean, idgaf.

And lastly... Hard agree, I heavily do not wish to see Helluva S3 ever come out, because it'll be a no ending pity party for the oh so sad ex prince Stolas that lost everything, and I would rather waste my time with more productive stuff before seeing a neverending melodrama of an abuser and his victim that developed Stockholm Syndrome because the plot demanded it.

Fuck this show, fuck this writing and fuck you, Viv.

(As a palette cleanser, check out this little fanfiction I found that serves as a more satisfying ending for Mastermind.)

[luciferanalyzestar]

I was cleaning and reorganizing my room, but I am taking a break to watch this. Also, what is going on with the thumbnails? Since Full Moon, they are getting more and more cluttered. Less is more.

Live reaction time, sad yippee.

That moment when you realize you have a WHOLE ASS DAUGHTER!

She is so real for this. Stella's VA always slays her lines, love her performance.

My new favorite background characters!! In love with the waiter imp's design. The background characters always look better than the main/speaking characters.

Okay, Moxxie and Millie are just yapping and being horny for each other, and I am just confused. What the fuck is happening? Visual noise. The M&Ms are my least favorite canon couple. maybe I will like them when Millie gets character outside of her husband.

Me when I buy too much stuff.

The joke is: She is homophobic. Since this sinner's situation is similar to what is going on with Blitz/Stolas/Stella? Is Stella going to be reveal to be homophobic? /lhj

Yes Via, your father is horny fetishizer who is a liar. Stolas is a bad father for not caring about his daughter and her wellbeing. He only cares about Blitz and his sexual desires. If my father or mother pulled something like this, I would not talk to them again. This is straight up abandonment.

When a stan sees a negative opinion about the Hellaverse.

Finally, Stolas says what we all been thinking, HE IS FUCKING STUPID. I guess being poor help wake up Stolas' braincells.

What in the fanfic? Anyway, the guy is a cheater, but they would have to kill the kids too. This does not seem like a Murder Family situation where the whole family was sick and twisted.

You are pregnant. What in the double fanfic?

Blitz throwing the sinner out the window made me giggle. Love jokes like that. See, it is possible for this show to be funny with swearing up a storm.

I hate Andy more than Stolas. Andy deserved that shit. Stolas beating the brakes off of Andy made me laugh. Why wouldn't Stolas be cool instead of being a UWU gay man?

What in the yaoi?

Loona is like a Dragon Ball character, how many forms does she got? This is for all the middle school wolf kids. The multiple eyes look dumb though.

I no longer like men. I'm homophobic now. Helluva made me hate men. /j

YES, VIA TELL HIS ASS OFF!!!!!! GET HIS ASS!!! RIP HIM A NEW ONE!!!! On an off note, Via's lines sound weird. I'm listening to the show via a Bluetooth speaker, and it sounds likes her VA was recording her lines in a closet to something. Especially the "chance to leave" part, I do not know I would be tripping.

Anyway, there is nothing wrong with cutting out toxic family members. Stolas was too busy getting his asshole tickled by Blitz to spend time with his daughter whose life was crumbling around her. I am tired of Stolas' bitch ass crying. Shut up. You should have drowned in that bathtub.

Loona has friends!!!??? I wish that was an episode of Loona finding friends instead of cringe episodes for people who have not grown out of the fujoshi middle school phase.

This show is jumping the shark. You know the writers are running out of ideas when they make one of the characters pregnant. At least make a male character pregnant, SWITCH IT UP!

Omg, this hellhound is like me for real, I own a pair of cheery earrings. Her design is peak like the other background characters. Someone please save her from this show.

YEP! :D Blitz misses Barbie so much that she has not made an appearance since. She really hates his ass that she removed herself from the show. I hope Blitz trips, taking Stolas with him and they both die and go into a better show with better writing.

RATING TIME: 4.5/10

I had more time cleaning and reorganizing my room than watching this episode. I felt nothing watching certain parts. The only moments I cared for was the ones with Via because of the leak storyboards of this episode. It seems like nothing was changed unlike what happen to Ghostfuckers.

Will I be watching season three? Viv said that season 3 take a while to be released and it is going to be 15 episodes long.

That would be around 2026. I do not know if I want to be watching this show when I am 25 years old. The writing choices of this show are baffling. I think (do not quote me on this) but Viv said season three will focus on the Ars Goetia in an interview which sounds boring. I do not care about their rich classist society. Is Helluva going to be Bridgerton but in Hell?

I can see myself watching Hazbin when I am 25 because there are AUs that I can indulge in when the show's writing gets worse and has like 1000 plots going on, if I do not care for one, I can pay attention to another one. Helluva's main plot point is just Stolas and Blitz, and I am bored of them. I dislike both of them as characters and as a couple/

I don't care for the rest of IMP, Fizz, Ozzie, Bee, Sallie Mae, Striker, and etc and their storylines. The only character I like is Mammon and Via and they do not appear that much.

Talking about this show is a chore. I had fun watching this show back in 2022 (I'm late to the fandom) but now, it is just a chore to sit though. The main plot is boring, and the side plots are the same recycle stuff. I have more fun reading the back label of shampoo bottles than watching this show.

[echooefrost]

TGS MEDIEVAL AU :0

Is this Historically accurate? no. Does that matter? no.

Alright, This is gonna be a lot, so thou shalt be warned

In the Au, Robert is a prince and Lanyon Sr. is the King, they rule over a small kindom somewhere in England - name TBA (so not like real monarchies which rule over entire countries etc.) The premise is basically; The Lanyon's personal/private doctor recently passed away so they call in a new doctor/chemist from Scotland - did you guess? yep, It's Jekyll. Hyde exists before Henry/Edward meets Robert (I haven't worked out the exact logistics about it yet, but I will) Jekyll/Hyde are more Chemists/Alchemists than Doctors but they are both still very good doctors regardless (so they don't really wear the 'plague mask' thing) I aged only Jekyll, Hyde and Lanyon down to about their early 20's so it matches around the original timing of when J&H met Robert in TGS. There are other smaller reasons but they aren't to important, all you need to know is that it doesn't really change anything

Lanyon is betrothed to Everly from a neighbouring kingdom -this is where it differs slightly from TGS, it's a political marriage not a lavender marriage. Neither Robert nor Everly are happy about this however, they are both only children in royalty so they don't really have an option.

Hyde is essentially the local gremlin that has in-built eyebags and a sense to sell you things not very discreetly that he probably shouldn't be selling. His Cape is comedically large and has a very extensive collection of illegal powders, drugs, and other nefarious items. Almost everybody knows Hyde becasue at some point they have all needed some rare item from him. - this is where the blackfog comes in (yes it exists!) the Blackfog is basically the same but Hyde really wants to go so he can buy/sell lots of items for his little side-business he has going on, however Lanyon Sr. is opposed to it and it's existence because well... illegal.

*Hyde also goes by: The Spirit of [insert Kingdom's name] at night (soooooo original, ik)

Jekyll stays pretty much the same, He really cares about his reputation so he can move up on the social ladder and create his own Science business at some point, and I mean he doesn't want to make a fool of himself in front of the King of all people, that wouldn't be a very good look, would it?

In this universe, The lodgers are all citizens of the small kingdom and they all sort of have different occupations/roles in the town. They can't all be scientists, but do not fear because they still as equally crazy and chaotic as before. Rachel is the Lanyon's personal chef but she also helps run the bakery in town with Mr. Doddle. Jasper looks after most of the animals and creatures in the kingdom, he used to be a farmer but moved to get away from home. I am yet to work out how Jekyll and Jaspers relationship dynamic stays the same in this universe but I will figure something out.

There is A LOT of Jekyon and Lanyde going on here, so I've got something for everyone, (there may or may not be a masquerade at some point...) and it's not just centred around romance, there is lots of other plot stuff happening so do not fear my ace/aro friends (or just people who aren't a fan of romance)!

That's most of it for now... I'll draw some more stuff at some point and give some extra details, If you have any questions please ask (my asks are open) I'd love to hear from you all!!! Don't be afraid to offer any suggestions or other criticisms. Maybe I'll write a fanfic one day who knows, we will see.

Thanks for listening to my rant (*^▽^*)

*Footnote - I don't think you guys realise how hard it was to make hyde not look like either A.) a fucking elf or B.) Link. Did I succeed? not sure.

[redishflavor]

if you saw the other one no you didn't

someone's John dory ask got eaten and I can't find my previous draft on it 😔

A/N -> I'll be starting school soon again so I won't be able to write as many fanfics as right now, but still send it requests! I just won't be able to publish them as fast as before 😅

but anyways (this is way longer than my last one damn)

John dory x reader headcanons

okay let's get one thing straight

this man has been in the wild for over idk how many years

he probably is secretly touch starved

and he's probably really bad at flirting

let's say this is after the events of TBT, so he's back in society again (probably)

hes bumped into you a few times and during those few times it was just some small talk here and there

but then when he bumped into you again he decided to flirt

with a terrible pick up line

after he said that he gave a look that was like "Yep, still got it"

he does not got it

you just looked at him, looked away and snorted

he thinks it's working

it might be

without him asking, you gave him your number on a peice of paper

there was a small not under the number (yall choose idk what to put) with a small heart at the end

(ur stinky but funny ❤️) (I sorry I had to😭😭)

he didn't read the note, he js put it on his wall in a frame

he was the first to text you

just a simple "Hi this is John dory"

and you know how some people type something but not send it?

he did that

"PLEASE PLEASE DATE ME 🙏🙏" then he deleted it to respond 'normally' to your text

after a few weeks of talking to each other you were the first to ask if he wanted to go on a date

he probably has never responded so fast to someone on his life

I js had to add this but he probably lost his other glove bc Rhonda ate it

anyways back on track

the first date you two went on was at a small Cafe (idk I panicked😭)

you two talked about a hunch of stuff but then settled on the topic of bands

one of your favorite band was BroZone

his eyes visibly lit up at the word BroZone

asks a bunch on questions like "who's your favorite band member" or "what's you favorite song"

takes his SWEET TIME telling you he's THE John Dory from BroZone

so many questions from both him and you

but after that date he offers to walk you home

and that's also how he got your address

a few more dates later he's the one to make the first move

a small text saying to meet him up at the Cafe they had their first date in

hes already there looking a bit flustered

after you two sit down he asks if you want to date

and that's how yall start dating (I am so sleepy rn guys)

every now and then he would send small gifts to you like flowers, candies, anything that reminds him of you at almost any store he goes to

he likes compliments, both giving and receiving them

when he's spending the day at your place he likes to cuddle with you

or hold you in any way

hug, hand holding, any touch basically

LOVES when you kiss him

like pepper him with kisses and he's melting

grab a bucket and mop he's gone

when he first introduced you to his brothers they had many questions

when Poppy met you (probably through Branch)

you two both bonded over dating a member of brozone

as you and Poppy were fangirling over them JD just looked at you lovingly

like he almost forgot his brothers were there

he loves you too much

he also gets you free tickets and backstage passes to every single one of BroZone's concerts

you've never missed a single concert

and you have way to much merch (mostly JD's merch) (and it's signed with his signature)

I think I might end it here bc I'm running out of ideas and any longer to post this would end up taking longer to post because school starts in like 2 says for me 😭😭 anyways I hope this was good for whoever asked this and again so sorry I lost your ask! I hope you have a great day/night!!

[arcriotwrites]

~𝒯𝒽𝑒 ℬ𝒶𝓇𝑜𝓃'𝓈 ℬ𝓊𝓃𝓃𝓎~

Helmut Zemo x AFAB reader (gender neutral names) 18+

Warnings: Swearing, smut, choking, teasing, hand kink, fingering, oral (female anatomy used), established dynamic, brat taming, dom!zemo, use of petnames (Bunny, Darling, etc.)

Author’s Note:

I am back with another one! I feel like Zemo doesn’t get enough love as it is so I’m writing for him😤. I’ve had this idea for a long time and finally have found the brain power to write it. This is an 18+ fanfic, PLEASE TAKE THE WARNINGS SERIOUSLY! Enjoy!

The bright lights and loud music of the bar seemed to welcome you in. Wolfman’s Bar sits along a quiet street in Madripoor, if there is such a thing as a quiet street here. The entrance is in a back alley, needing strict access to even enter the bar. You step onto the concrete sidewalk, knocking firmly against the heavy metal door. The metal vibrated with the bass of the music, your attention on the man as he opens the door. He takes one look at you and steps aside, welcoming you in. A smirk rests on your lips as you saunter in, noticing many people turn and whisper to each other upon your arrivals you pull the maroon leather jacket off of yourself and drape it over the back of one of the barstools, taking a seat. The bartender comes over to you almost instantly.

“What can I get you, Jester?”

The name rolls off his tongue with a hint of fear and you can’t help but feel proud.

“A dirty martini should be fine.”

You watch as he quickly shuffles off to fulfill your request. As you sit there, you feel your phone vibrate in your back pocket, you pull it out to look at the text.

Carlos: Slight trouble with current mission, need 2 more days to fulfill your wishes.

You let out a frustrated sigh as you type back, your back straightening slightly.

Me: You have one day. If the money isn’t transferred by this time tomorrow, the hunt is on.

You let out a deep grumble as you hit send, sliding your phone into your pocket once more. You tap your fingers in your lap as you wait for your drink.

You suddenly feel a hand between your shoulder blades, your right hand flying to your thigh, pulling your handgun from it’s holster.

“Calm down, darling. It’s just me.”

His voice hits your ears like a drug, causing a shiver to run down your spine. You turn around to see him. Before you stand Baron Zemo, or at least what everyone here knew him as. You knew him as Helmut, being the only one who is allowed to use his first name.

“Welcome back, Helmut. What brings you to my domain?” You ask, a smirk settling on your lips as he sits on the barstool next to you. You clip your gun back into the holster that is strapped to your thigh. As you do so, the bartender sets your drink down in front of you and you nod a thanks at him before taking a sip.

“I had some time off so I figured I’d pay you a visit. I heard the Powerbroker has taken a step back huh?” He asks, his eyes never leaving you as you set your drink back on the bar top.

“Yep. With Selby dead thanks to you and the Powerbroker regaining a home in the US, that leaves Madripoor with no leader, at least until recently.”

As you speak, you can’t help the proud smile that falls on your lips. You run your fingers along the base of your martini glass, wiping off a smudge. You turn to look at him once more, noticing confusion evident in his eyes. You let out a soft laugh, seeing the wrinkles of his face deepen as he puts on a curious expression.

“What do you mean by that, darling?” Your smirk only deepens at his question, finishing your drink swiftly before standing from your chair and grabbing your jacket from the back of it.

“C’mon. We can talk more at my place. I got a nice house in high town.” You say as you start to walk out of the bar. You feel a hand on your wrist pull you back. As you turn you almost slam into his chest.

“You know the rules. Follow them.” His voice sounded deep and gruff in your ears, his tone commanding. A shiver runs down your spine as you remember what he told you during his last visit.

Never stray too far from me.

He chuckles deeply as he watches you process what he said. You swallow hard, nodding before turning and starting to walk towards the exit, slower this time. You look back at him every few seconds to make sure he is right behind you. As you exit the bar, he grabs your hand. The feeling of his hand in yours has your mind fogging a bit, the feeling so familiar yet from so long ago.

Once you reach your house, you bring him inside, shutting off the security system. As you flip the lights on, you see him taking off his coat, draping it over the black armchair in the foyer. You walk into the living space, glancing around as you light the fireplace. The warmth of it makes you hum slightly as you feel arms wrap around your waist. You look down and see the deep purple sleeves and aged hands that rest near your stomach. A smile breaks out onto your lips as you lean into his touch.

“I missed you, Baron.” You whisper softly, hearing a slight hum vibrate through his chest. You always knew that name affected him and now was no different.

“I missed you too, Bunny.” As the petname rolls off his tongue, you can feel your mind fogging again, just like it had earlier when he grabbed your hand. He always called you that. To him you were something delicate, something to handle with care. No matter how wild you could be, you were always his soft, delicate bunny.

You hear him chuckle as your eyes close, not having noticed you were now fully leaning into him, a blush creeping up your neck and to your cheeks. His voice is husky now, his accent thick.

“Did my Bunny miss my touch hmm?”He smirks as he speaks, you’re able to hear it in his voice. All you can do is nod, scared that your voice will betray you if you try to speak but he cuts you off in your actions.

“Ah ah ah, words, darling. You know how this works.” His tone becomes authoritative, causing you to shutter against him.

“Yes, I did.” You say, your voice coming out soft and obedient. It was as if your body was acting out of need, not want. You needed his hands on you, you needed him to keep speaking to you like this. A part of your brain flips, starting to drift in thought.

What would happen if I didn’t submit?

A small smirk crawls its way to your lips, slowly sliding yourself out of his arms. You turn to look at him, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you cross your arms over your chest. You watch as he looks you up and down, as if examining his prey. He seems to scoff slightly as you look at him, determination evident in your posture.

“Actually, I don’t need your touch. I am perfectly fine getting off by myself.” You spit out, smirking the entire time. You knew the words you spoke weren’t true, all those late nights whimpering his name into your pillow out of frustration. You watch as he raises his eyebrows, shaking his head as he smirks.

“Oh is that so, bunny? So you weren’t frustrated with my absence? You didn’t miss my hands tracing your body, feeling every inch of you? You didn’t miss me leaving marks on your thighs, owning every inch of you?” As he speaks, he takes steps closer to you, starting to walk you back against the wall. He towers over you now, your back flush against the wall as you realize he has trapped you just as he planned. “You didn’t miss the way my tongue felt as I licked that pretty pussy clean?” He whispers in your ear now, his voice deep and gruff. His words have you leaning your head back against the wall as you close your eyes, taking a deep breath to try and stay nuetral. You feel his hand wrap around your hip, his thumb digging into your side. God his hands always interested you. They were so callous and rough from his work, covered in scars from the countless fights he got into. Despite this, he always touched you with the softest touch. The veins that ran down his forearms and into his hands always had you mesmerized, remembering all the countless nights you spent tracing them when you couldn’t sleep. Though there was another side to those hands. The way they held a gun so steady, he could get a headshot from a mile away. The way that they ran down your sides and to your legs, spreading them open as they had many times before.

As your mind started to drift, you could hear him chuckle. You hadn’t noticed you had zoned out, blushing deeply when you noticed you are gripping his sweater. You blink a few times, slowly letting go of his shirt, clearing your throat.

“Still trying to be defiant.” He states it as a fact, not a question. The disappointed tone in his voice makes you falter slightly, like your brain is fighting itself. Without any time to prepare, his hand comes up around your throat, squeezing the sides in a tight grip as he presses you back into the wall harder. “Come on now. You know exactly where this would get you, pinned to the wall, unable to breathe. Hm? Did you want this? Did you plan this since you saw me? Planned to work me up so that I’d fuck you senseless hm?” His angry tone makes your head spin. You can’t tell if it’s the lack of oxygen or the way you can feel his hand sliding from your waist to the front of your shorts that is making you feel lightheaded. You can feel him undoing the button and zipper, anticipating his touch. You craved it. Him feeling how wet you are because of him, his finger teasing your clit until you are sobbing, begging him to fuck you. Yet as your mind reels, his hand comes to rest back on your waist, his grip on your throat loosening slightly. You gasp, feeling your lungs burn as you try not to cough. He smirks, chuckling at your red face as he runs his thumb over your cheek.

“Look at you. You’re so desperate aren’t you? It’s taking everything in you to not fall to your knees and beg me to take you right here right now. I can see it in your face. I can see it in the way your hips pressed against my hand when I undid your shorts. You need me so badly yet you won’t say it. You know the rules, Bunny. I won’t do a damn thing until you ask me to.” His voice is stern, a teasing tone tagging onto it as he reminds you of the rule you hated most. You hated asking him, vocalizing your filthiest desires seemed like a nightmare. You swallow hard, feeling his hand against the front of your throat. You clear your throat, your eyes glazing over as you look up at him, deciding that your current aches are far more important than the anxiety rising in your belly.

“Please touch me, Baron.”

Your voice comes out just above a whisper. You watch the smile spread across his face, a mischievous look falling over his eyes.

“There you go. You did such a good job, Bunny. Come on, let your Baron take care of you.” He speaks softly, his tone completely different than the stern one he held moments ago. He takes your hand, leading you over to the leather couch that sits in front of the fire. He takes a seat, spreading his legs open. “Take those shorts off for me, darling.”

You can tell it’s a command yet his voice comes out gentle. It’s as if he is silently letting you know you can back out. He was always doing that, making sure you were ok and comfortable, letting you know you could stop at any time. You nod softly as you slide the shorts down your legs, stepping out of them and kicking them to the side. You watch as his eyes fall over you, his tongue poking out to lick his lips.

“God… I missed looking at you.” He whispers out, breathless. You blush deeply, the red tint now spreading to your ears as he looks at you like a predator watching its prey. “Come here.” He motions with his fingers as he speaks, adjusting how he sits to sit back further on the couch. You walk to stand in front of him, your hands clasped behind your back. You feel your mind fully leave, any thoughts you had fog over and the only thing you can focus on is him.

He suddenly grabs your waist and turns you around, pulling you to sit In between his legs on the couch, your back flush to his chest. His cologne fills your nose like a drug, making you hum in delight. He lets his hands roam you, sliding down your back and around your waist, finally rest on your thighs. You can feel yourself squirming slightly, the puddle you sit in becoming uncomfortable.

“Do you want me to take care of you, Bunny?” He voice is soft in your ear, the words spilling from his lips like a prayer. There he goes again, asking you if you are ok without being direct.

“Yes, Baron. Please.” Your words come out broken, not expecting to hear yourself sound so desperate. When you speak, you feel his hands grip your thighs, gently spreading them apart.

“There you go. Let me control you, bun. Just relax ok? I’ll take good care of you.” His voice fills your ears as you feel his middle finger lightly drag up your underwear. As his touch reachers your clit, you jump in his lap, slamming your legs shut out of shock. You hear him chuckle as he pulls your thighs apart again, continuing his feather light touch over your underwear. “Look at you.” He presses his finger into the wet patch that had soaked through; “so wet for me already.” You nod quickly at his statement, feeling your hips rise, trying to chase his touch. Both of his hands grip your hips, slamming you back onto the couch. “Stay still.” His tone is stern, dangerous. The contrast in his gentle touch to his aggressive tone makes you whimper.

“Give into me, bunny. Come on. You almost had it, then you got too greedy. I will touch you however and whenever I want.” His tone is soft, gentle, as if trying to coax your body into doing as he says. You relax back against his chest, resting your head back onto his shoulder. “There you go.” His touch returns to your clothed pussy, rubbing gentle circles against your clit, feeling the wet spot grow as he does so. You can feel his shit eating grin against your head, placing a kiss to your forehead. You let out a breath you hadn’t noticed you had been holding, soft moans leaving your lips. You bite your lip as his speed and pressure picks up, your legs starting to shake at the shocks that run up your spine. As it begins to be too much, he withdrawals his hand causing you to whine in protest.

“Sshh bun, you’re ok, patience.” His tone is gentle once more, soothing your aching body back against his chest. You feel his finger slide your underwear to the side, his finger starting to run up and down through your wet mess. He hums in approval as he slowly traces around your entrance, feeling how your body quivers against him. You moan as he finally touches you, finally feeling what you have needed for the past 7 months. Finally having what you dreamed of every night.

He slowly pushes the tip of his middle finger into you, going in and out slowly, gently.

“You’re so tight, darling. Is all of this mess for me hmm?” His voice is teasing, slowly putting more of his finger into you with every push. All you can do is nod, moaning as he pushes his finger fully into you. “Your body missed me, darling. I can feel it in how your walls throb against my finger.”

His statement makes me shiver, feeling his other hand slide up your chest to your neck, gripping your jaw gently and pulling your head back so you look at him. As he does this, he rapidly picks up speed, sliding a second finger into you. “If you didn’t miss me, bunny, then how come your pussy is making a puddle on this couch for me hm? How come your body is shaking in pleasure as if you haven’t felt this in months hm?” His tone is still gentle, almost mocking you as you moan loudly against his neck. The pleasure mixed with his words makes you writhe in his lap, gasping as tears start to roll down your cheeks. It’s too much, the way he taunts you, teases you while fully handling your body in anyway he wished.

As it all builds, you feel your climax reaching its peak, desperately needing the release you had waited months for.

“Baron please! Don’t stop…. M-I’m close.” You gurgle out, your body shaking against his as he fingers you relentlessly.

“Come on, give it to me, Bunny. Show me how much you missed me.”

At his words, you cum, feeling your hips stutter against his hands as he continues at a brutal pace. You gasp and moan against his skin, eventually biting into his neck as you groan. As you come down from your high, he slows down, eventually pulling his fingers out of you. He examines the glistening digits, seeing your gaze on his hands. You watch as he slides his fingers between his lips, sucking them clean. The sight has you squirming, seeing him savor every inch of you. He pulls his fingers from his lips and wipes them on his dress pants. He smiles softly down at you as you look at him dazed, your head empty.

“Do you want me to clean you up, darling?” The question doesn’t process in your brain for a few seconds yet you find yourself nodding without hesitation. He picks you up, laying you on your back on the couch. You look down at him as he crawls down your body, sliding his tongue over the mess on your thighs. The feeling makes you gasp, shivering against the cold leather. You watch him as he makes eye contact with you, sliding his tongue up between your folds, watching you as you moan. His slides his tongue over your clit, noticing how you jump at the contact. He smirks against your pussy, licking at you slowly and gently. Once he decided it was enough torture, he sits up.

“Come here, Bunny. Let yourself doze off, ok? That was a lot after our long break hm.” He says, chuckling as you shakily crawl over, curling up against his chest. You can hear his heartbeat, the sound making you smile. He was really here, he was truly here to take care of you after so much time apart.

“I love you, Baron” the words come out of your mouth as you doze off, the last thing you hear before sleep takes you;

“I love you too, Bunny.”